If you’ve been following my online journey for the past 5 years then you’ll know that I’ve only been in one serious relationship. Ryan, he’s the one I met on Tinder, the boy I fell completely in love with and the one I bought a house with. To some this may seem a little extreme, especially once you learn that we’ve only been with each other for about 2 years but when I knew, I knew – It was as simple as that.
After spending weeks trying to work out if Ryan was a real person or not – I mean who doesn’t have any form of social media these days? We finally went on a date, and after our first meal together we practically saw each other every evening from then on. We never did the whole playing it cool thing, we didn’t waste months trying to work out where we were in the relationship, we just started it by telling each other the truth, and I think that’s probably why we have such a trusting relationship now.
A few months in and we worked out that it made a lot more sense to cook and have an evening in at Ryans flat for a date than spend money going out to a restaurant every evening – Note to self: If you start to get bored of eating out at restaurants then you’ve eaten out too much Grace (and yes, it was a very expensive time). After a while it turned from a few evenings a week to a weekend now and then to practically every evening and every weekend at his.
Now the reason I’m telling you all of this is because I’ve had a lot of you ask me about ‘Living With A Boyfriend For The First Time’ and I can only answer out of experience – obviously. I genuinely think the reason it felt so right and easy for Ryan and I was because we managed to spend so much time together in our own environment to learn about each other (Ryan’s flat). Well, that and the fact that he moved in with my parents for a few months before we bought the house we are in now so that he could save some money rather than pay it on rent, and if he could survive that I knew Ryan could survive anything with me.
There are some things I have learnt about living together though. For instance, you need to talk to each other, sounds obvious I know but hear me out. If one of you is always doing the washing up and the other person doesn’t even attempt to try and help out, naturally after a week this will annoy you, you’ll start to get frustrated with your partner and that’s completely fair enough. But unless you talk to that person and explain how you are feeling you can’t expect them to change or do anything differently. I use washing up as an example because Ryan never washes up, but then again I never do the washing and drying of clothes and rarely do the cooking, so I can’t complain too much.
Decisions cause arguments. I always thought Ryan and I had very similar taste, and the majority of the time we do. But when it came to picking furniture for our home boy did we disagree, and these disagreements were strong ones! Remember sometimes you have to let your partner make some decisions, and sometimes their decision might be the best thing you’ve ever done.
It’s a complete learning curve and everybody’s relationship is different, and if you take anything from this post, please just remember that. If you don’t argue with your partner and your friend does, it doesn’t mean either of you have a better relationship, all people are different and thats reflected within your relationship. If you found any of this helpful, let me know in the comments and feel free to share your experiences too! Alternatively you can always head to Ryan’s blog where he talks about everything and anything that I don’t. -G,x
Waistcoat-vintage // Shorts-Topshop // Ryans shirt-AllSaints
Photos taken by : Henry Mandeville